If you focus on the hurt, you will continue to suffer! If you focus on the lesson you will continue to grow! Buddha

For some people suffering is a condition to get the love they can’t accept to receive otherwise. The pain they accept makes the other one feel powerful, and through their suffering they hope to create a bond with him, avoiding so a real or an imaginary abandonment! We call that masochism! Self-inflicted suffering may be a result of some serious mental illness like clinical depression, generalized anxiety or schizophrenia! Physical pain can be there as result of some severe illness like Lyme disease, Life altering accidents, operations, amputations. Sometimes we have to take care of someone who is in a vegetative state! This actually might sound like a punishment! In the body or mind, the suffering is very real for those in that situation!

Does suffering have a purpose in itself?

Is it an essential condition for us to become better or holier people? I am sure that no sane person, would choose suffering in a deliberate way! But sometimes it becomes an inevitable consequence or our moral principles, beliefs, being ahead of our time, refusing to be part of the system! If you look at the history of mankind, you see millions who suffered because of others! They were arrested with no reason, some victims of an insane mind who dreams to dominate everyone, till there is no one left to kill. Some died for their ruler-s idea of conquering the world or uniting a nation and they had no possibility to refuse! Think of Russian experiments in the Gulag, Cambodia – in less than 5 years almost 3 million people were killed. The extreme form of communism in Romania – many intellectuals were kept political prisoners, many died from hard labor building the insane dream of a monster with a personality cult! Those who refused were killed, tortured, until no drop of humanity remained so they became executioners. Think about modern day North Korea, the last standing pillar against human freedom. Think of the people who have been arrested by mistake, for finding themselves at the wrong moment, in the wrong place, had the wrong skin color, or because they raised their voice against injustice.

Is there an explanation behind this? A justification?

One very reasonable explanation is natural population control. The wars have diminished drastically in the last 30 years, people are not willing to die or be killed for some ideals they don-t believe in anymore. The man is not a pray to anyone, like other animals are. They are indirect prey when they accept some experimental pharmaceutical medicine in exchange for money.

We can understand this and even accept at some level as long is not happening to us, or to someone we know and love. If it’s far on the map, in some 3rd world country, where people are not educated, many of them don’t know they have human rights, we can accept it easier. We feel compassion only when we feel that the person suffering has a certain social value, or is an example. The black Saharian girl, dying of hunger doesn’t causes emotions in me, because she is one in many. Once I give her a name, and I know her personal story, I feel empathy and I begin to be screwed. So, in this case, suffering is a question of marketing. Until it hits you personally, people are objects, doesn’t matter they are Indian prisoners in Pakistan, Bosnian war survivals, people arriving from the other side of the ocean after leaving behind everything they had. When you turned off you TV, you also turned your mind off from what you have seen!

You may occasionally want to wash your consciousness by donating for some humanitarian causes, or volunteering! The golden rule of all religions is after all: Treat others the way you would like to be treated! How would you feel, if something like this would happen to you? Tomorrow you will be arrested because you are white, and only the black are worth living, how would you react? Maybe you would at least try to protect your family and those you care. So are we all monsters of selfishness? We are selfish with those we don’t know. When you receive training before enrolling, the idea of THE ENEMY is first introduced to you. He may be the person living in your next village, but now you see him as the bastard who wants to take things from you. Your wife, your land, your language, your tradition, he is different, and therefore dangerous. You call him the enemy, not Giovanni. This is the basis of nationalism, the differences between us!

Is there anything worth dying for?

It shouldn’t be! A man at peace with himself and the world, don-t kill, he is in a state of blissfulness! Some might consider dying, if they think the world will become a better place!. How can we give a meaning to suffering? Is it a guaranteed thicket to paradise? An essential condition for spiritual elevation? If your consciousness tells you that you are right, you should do it!

Paradoxically, when the suffering is too much, too frequent, we humans tend to ignore it because it is overwhelming. We become insensitive against feeling helpless, and consequently we stop acting.

The constant physical pain should make us grateful for every little thing we have in life, which we didn’t appreciate before. It should teach us to become more compassionate about others, because we know ourselves how painful that suffering is. Teach us to let go of anxieties, and of fears, paranoia, to take opportunities as they present themselves. And live each day with a purpose.

Suffering is not always proportional to our physical deprivation. Of course you are in pain when you have nothing to eat. This is not because there is not enough food for everyone but because of the human greed! We forgot how to be humans! Sadhguru said that being partially alive is a terrible torture. If you live only for your body, then you will suffer everything: hunger, ignorance, education, poverty, richness, being alone or in a relationship! So you try to feel fully alive through alcohol, food, sex, drugs! You live for PLEASURE. You physical body is the only things that you possess and control!

So, the suffering is justifiable only if one obtains something greater than one self! A person who understood the role of his suffering doesn-t blame God for what he had been through! Does God decide to give happiness to someone, and to another pain? Can you find a better meaning if you blame someone for your suffering? Do you think he likes looking at us ripping each other apart in the name of our differences? God or Universe also gave you the capacity to feel empathy and care for another, but that is your choice.

It is easier to look up and blame, than it is to look down and take responsibility for what we have created!

Can you get any closer to God, then by taking care of his creation?

The only justification for suffering that we should accept is a superior level of understanding or the spiritual growth. This is determined by choice of consciousness! Then we can obtain something bigger then personal justice. Then we become EXAMPLES! Choose from M. Gandhi, Nelson Mandella, Mother Theresa etc. Some received a form of moral compensation for suffering and some only after their death!

To what extent have we contributed to what we have in our life?

With our good faith itself! When we refuse by all means to see evil intentions in other, it should become an alarm signal. If something appears to be good to be true, there are huge chances that it really is. Sometimes we chose to ignore our intuition of people! We want to be fooled, like in a magic show!

Suffering should teach us to be more sensitive to human needs in general, not to produce a moral anesthesia! There are things that be taken from you, and some that cannot! Kipling wrote in his famous poem, that triumph and disaster are two impostors; they should be treated just the same, without allowing you losses or gains to define you. Things are things, we give meaning to them. They have power to destroy your life, or to be your greatest lesson!


Do you want to find out more?
I am having a special FREE MASTERCLASS about happy relationships.
Click here to register: